The constant need for a source of entertainment

Some thoughts about how I always want to keep my mind engaged and curious—or to keep it distracted from the real world?

Back in my day…

I remember when I was a kid, around 2004, my family stayed for a while in a small rural area somewhere in Oaxaca, México, where there was not much for me to do.

In a time where mobile phones, laptops, tablets or handhelds were not really a thing, especially in such a place, where even a CRT TV was rare to see.

A family would let us stay there during that time. I would wake up from bed—two individual mattresses stuck together—wrapped by huge blankets, shared with my parents and sister, and go spend my time in the patio.

Outside, the woman whose name I don’t really remember, was usually making tortillas, by hand, thick, perfectly round. I always asked for one, with a pinch of salt for extra flavor, she would roll it up and give it to me, and I was happy.

I liked to walk by myself. I didn’t go too far, really, the terrain was simply enormous, at least for my 4 year old eyes. There was no fence. I would explore every nook and cranny of the field, mostly dirt and rocks, on the look out for strange and curious things.

Ants were always a highlight, following their paths was something I would do every day, sometimes I focused on just one of them, trying to see them doing their tasks, carrying leaves, looking for food. I would end up losing track at some point, and look for other things to distract myself with.

Old coins from a bygone era (any time before I was born) cool branches I could use as a light saber (I don’t even know how I knew Star Wars), old packaging from snacks (some brands changed their logos at the time, so I considered them “collectibles”), and one of my favorites, bottle caps.

Bottle caps were the best, and quite common due to Coca-Cola’s popularity in Mexico even in rural areas. I could turn them into anything I wanted with the power of my mind! It was something I could flick with my finger, it was a piece to play board games, it was a building block, it was something to throw and catch.

However, my favorite way to play with them, was to turn them into a flying car! Specifically, those from the Jetsons, a pretty old cartoon that aired on Canal 5 from time to time, which I really enjoyed. I just had to cut the collar of the bottle cap in half, which became the hood or dome of the car, and the other part would become the rear wing, like this:

I think it was a pretty cool toy, I came up with the idea myself, not sure how, but I turned plenty of caps into supersonic vehicles for many of years. At some point I just stopped doing it, for no real reason other than “growing up”, I guess.

How time has gone by…

On these later years, in a society where the World Wide Web is now available in the palm of my hand, and millions of videos a day are uploaded to the web. I found myself wanting to do as much as I can, to always have something going on in the background, not wanting to miss out on anything, scrolling in search of the next thing that entertains me.

But now, instead of exploring an empty field, where everything fun had to come out of my own curiousity and creativity. I am sorrounded by screens that let me access videos, feeds, content. All of it fighting for my attention.

I can, of course, ignore it. But why?

Why would I wash the dishes without watching a video at the same time? Why would I fold my clothes without listening to a podcast too? Why would I have lunch without scrolling away on social media? Why would I go outside without carrying my phone at all times?

Why would I not try though?

I don’t need to have anything in the background, even if I feel that I should have something on all the time. But if I’m walking or commuting to work, or doing house chores, or excercising at the gym, I seek that extra stimuli without even realizing it.

More thoughtful tasks are easier to do without any distractions, so at least I’m not a lost cause just yet. When it comes to writing, for example, I can do it in silence, with only the key strokes and a fan producing noise.

However, as soon as I am asked to do the dishes, I take my phone out and spend a couple minutes just looking for that perfect video with an interesting topic and the perfect length to watch while doing the manual task of scrubbing away the stains from a pan.

Is that not a problem I could seek to solve? Or should I just accept it, as part of how my brain works now?

I heard somewhere that the best way to build a habit, is to make it easier than doing the other activities you’d rather do. So, if I want to be creative, to make me curious about the seemingly mundane things, I’d have to make being alone without distractions, easier as well.

I am not sure of how to achieve that, obviously, replacing my phone with reading could work, or videogames. But I’m not talking about using my phone less, but about that feeling, that craving of having something to make the mundane tasks “worthwhile”.

Seeking less distractions is one thing. Replacing the phone with other hobbies or ways to spend my time, a different thing. Doing simple tasks and not seeking to keep my eyes, ears or mind busy, that’s totally different, right?

After writing all of this, I read Ariadne’s post about attention and the generation gap, which I think shares some similarities with this text, so go check it out!

Just like Ariadne is surprised about how my generation works, I am also worried about the kids who beg their parents to borrow their phones, so they can watch vertical videos and play Roblox together.

Taking that away might not be the right the solution, some good things can come from that, learn new things, meet new friends. How will that behavior affect them in the future? I can only imagine.

Learning to live without that source of entertainment, understanding that sometimes that is the only (or the better) option, should not be that hard.

Here I am, celebrating that last month I watched YouTube videos 13 hours less than before, as if that’s actually a big deal when I just replaced it with scrolling somewhere else.

Maybe there is nothing wrong with wanting to listen to Into The Aether while I mop the floor. But there was a time when that wasn’t the case, and I was living just fine.

Still, it makes me wonder, what if there were no ants, no coins, and no bottle caps?

I still don’t know how though

At this point I should probably split this into like three of my regular blog posts. But I can’t help but wonder now, how did it even start? This desire to avoid being by myself, alone while I do some thing or another?

Silence has never been something I actually despise. Reflecting on my life, reminiscing in the past, daydreaming about the future, praying, looking at nothing and thinking of nothing. It is all quite fine for me, to be honest

I almost felt like I should blame the pandemic, I remember being at home and watching YouTube all the time, or binge-listening to a podcast on some older version of AntennaPod.

But even before that, there were other things that possibly triggered this habit of mine.

Back in the day I used to watch tutorials, for animation, to fold origami, to learn magic tricks, to install a game or a program, to edit videos. Most of them things I actually did or practiced.

Maybe the moment I finally had a phone, I started to look for things to do with it. I started to watch videos about customizing it, about the history of phones. From there I looked for videogames, from there I watched gameplay videos, from there YouTube reviews and essays, then livestreams, podcasts, and well, here we are.

I don’t think any of that was bad by itself, not really. It’s a pretty complex topic and it’s not really something I can just say it’s the fault of technology, the internet or whatever. I am probably just coming up with something to point fingers at, or make sense of things. The root cause isn’t really there.

I’ve always been a pretty hyperactive person, constantly looking for something to do, hence all the hobbies I got and the like. But over time, I have gotten lazier, I would rather watch others do cool stuff, but then again, I spent hours designing my own game covers a few months ago, I still create things on Inkscape just for fun? Usually, with something playing in the background.

Whatever, I probably didn’t have to write 1500 words to say all of this. But if you are still reading this, thanks! I’d love to read your thoughts on the matter.

This is day 61 of #100DaysToOffload

https://fosstodon.org/@joel/114464653773570893