Blogging expectations

Some thoughts about what I expect out of blogging regularly, or having a website at all

After stumblinng upon a post about blogging feeling fake by Robert Birming, inspired by another post by Brandon, I also felt the sudden urge to write some thoughts about what I expect out of blogging. Go read them, I think they are both much better than whatever is coming up in the next few paragraphs. 🤣

Unlike both of them, I have never really thought about quitting my blog, I do not feel tired or like it’s worthless or anything, I don’t really have a problem with writing often or rarely, I just write when I remember to do it, sometimes daily, other times barely.

However, a couple of quotes got me thinking. Robert says:

I’m haunted by a feeling that it’s all about attention and that I’m doing everything in my power to hide that reason from myself. That thought leaves a bitter aftertaste, and I’m not comfortable with it. I find it unpleasant.

In my case, it’s true, honestly. I like attention, I want my blog posts to sometimes show up in Hacker News or get shared on big social media sites (despite the aftermath of random people who don’t know me hating on it), I want people to comment on toots linking to my blog posts, I want people to send me an email sharing their thoughts or opinion on it, I want people to contact me on Signal or XMPP and have a random chat, I want to get invited into a podcast despite how terrible my spoken English would be, I want people to know me?

But I’m aware. Just because I want it, doesn’t mean I’m entitled to it, just because it would be nice, doesn’t mean I’ll stop blogging if nothing happens you know?

Then he says:

Somewhere inside, I envision myself sitting alone with pen and paper. Simply writing it all out, unfiltered, without even a thought that someone else will read it.

I’ll admit, I get slightly dissapointed when I get zero comments on my latest blog post, not even a favorite or boost on Mastodon. After all, I’m using hashtags and joining challenges and replying to other people’s posts or filling contact forms just to say hi, why don’t I get the same back?

Thankfully, I get over it pretty quickly. I really love writing for this blog, and I don’t really want to be famous for real. I am grateful for the friends I’ve made already thanks to this, I shouldn’t ask for more, to be honest. I don’t have the answers, it’s just how I’m feeling right now.

I write for myself, but not only for myself, I can’t force anyone to read this, but it sure feels nice when people do (and they tell me).

Does that make me a fake blogger? Should I just write because I love writing and absolutely nothing else, should I not want anything back whatsoever? Is the act of writing fulfilling enough?

I write this and I know my closer circle of friends will be like “you evil attention seeker” and “there goes another post begging for emails!!” and you know what? At least I’m being frank. I guess it’s just that need to be accepted or to belong that makes me think this.

Maybe I’ll look back at this in a few months and be like “woah I sure was desperate” but well, I already committed to the bit so I may as well publish it now. I sure hope this is not the first ever blog post someone reads from me! But this is my website, I do whatever I want with it, that’s the beauty of blogging, isn’t it? I may be shouting to the void, but at least I can shout.

Okay that last line was kinda cringe.

This is day 46 of #100DaysToOffload

https://fosstodon.org/@joel/114311837967518950