I don't really remember how I ended up thinking about the friends I have, the meaning of true friendship and the contrast with online interactions
Today I stumbled upon a video based on a series called āThe Four Lovesā, by the man himself C. S. Lewis. In this case, he focuses on āPhiliaā or Friendship. The video was done by CSLewisDoodle, a channel that adds drawings and helps illustrate the ideas shared in a great way.
I have a huge respect for Lewis, and I didnāt even know he actually had such material available. Turns out, he was part of quite a few radio shows where he shared his thoughts on multiple topics, so Iāll probably listen to some of them soon, the channel already has a huge compilation for me to watch.
The video is great, I donāt really feel capable of explaining his ideas here, so I recommend you to watch it for yourself. Despite being recorded in 1958, I do believe it holds up quite well for todayās standards, and the video quality is also top notch, the drawings are a perfect complement for whatās being said.
Friendships online are quite different from real life, I wonder how many people Iāve talked to due to this blog or just in other communities that I am a part of I could consider a friend. I, as well as many others, feel pressured to call someone a friend simply because you donāt dislike someone, or enjoy talking with them. But just because you have some ideas in common and are willing to trust someone in someway it doesnāt really mean that you are friends, but simply a companion or part of a group.
I had āfriendsā in a lot of communities before, be it playing Monster Hunter online for hours, playing Clash of Clans and doing wars together, studying with classmates after school was over, participating in speedcubing competitions with fellowā¦ speedcubers, the list can go on. But I canāt really go ahead and start a chat right now with any of those people. At least not without discomfort. And even if I did, the conversation would probably die out pretty quickly. Maybe its due to me being introverted, but I believe its only natural.
We might have shared an interest (or many) for a while, but I never took the time to know the personality of anyone, and neither did them. We didnāt actually share a friendship, but were simply enjoying a moment in time were our interests aligned or our goals were similar, even needing each other to accomplish them or to enjoy the journey even further.
Of course, friendships donāt need to last a lifetime, they are so volatile, they donāt really need a commitment, there is not real jealousy either (when compared to Eros (sexual love) or Storge (family bonds), and yet, there is affection. True friendships have become so misunderstood today that I think its fair to say most of us can count true friends with a single hand.
Its such a weird thing. If you were to ask me who is my best friend, I truly donāt know who would I name, or how many, if there are any. Its not about knowing everything about a person, no need to know their family or job, but well, I donāt know, I guess its about getting to know their personality, their soul. Be able to stay by their side, not because of commitment or convenience, but because you care for them.
During the time Iāve been part of the Linux and FOSS community, I have had the pleasure of knowing new people and even starting some meaningful conversations with a few of them, but I wonder if Iāll really be able to keep in touch with them for 5 years. I sure wish to maybe be friends with some people in here, after all Proverbs 18:24 says:
There are āfriendsā who destroy each other,
but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
I wonder if its possible to stick so close to someone purely based on online interactions, its already hard doing it in real life. I guess I should ask who is my friend in a Facebook post or somethingā¦
Anyways, too much introspection for today. This has been day 99 of #100DaysToOffload, watch the video! Itās really worth it.
Comments
If you have something to say, leave a comment, or contact me āļø instead
