How did socializing stop being interesting?
When Texting Destroyed Social Investment
...Nowadays, none of that remains. Who still drags a Walkman with him when he can enjoy endless albums streamed via 5G? That’s sad too but currently not my biggest concern. No, my concern is that smartphones and their entrance to unlimited and continuous texting completely destroyed social interest and investment...
I have to admit, I switch back and forth on my thoughts about long distance communication and its impact on social interactions. And for me, it is something that depends on context, like people that I interact with in real life and via texting, online only friends, or people I barely talk to at all unless it’s in person.
I do not text with my family very consistently, not uncles, not cousins, not my siblings or my parents. Only during some emergency or extraordinary event do I call them, or if they text me first asking me to do something, I will reply. Maybe I will share some random meme or ask for a ride home in the family group sometimes.
I tend to leave family on read very often, I receive their notifications and if its something I have to do, I’ll do it without even replying. Sometimes they expected me to let them know when something’s done, or to at least know I read it, but other than that, my chat history with them is kinda empty.
Sometimes I will share a status on WhatsApp or a story for family and friends to see, and sometimes people will ask me how it is going and we have some chat about it. But if it is someone I interact with often in person, we will usually just do that instead of chatting, or do nothing at all.
I haven’t had family trips lately due to work, but when we were on our way to visit relatives, my dad usually asked me or my mom to call them about 15 minutes before we arrive, just to give them a heads up, but other than that, its not like I texted anyone to update them on my adventures.
When it comes to online friends and groups, many things change. I exchange constant communication with some people here on Fedi or from other social media.
Nowadays, most of the time we chat on Signal, XMPP or Discord—I am sorry Matrix, but you’re not good enough for me—and it is something that happens daily. We chat about many things and my usual reply is “evil.”
Vacations, traveling and similar events in person aren’t really something I share with online friends, or even this blog, at least not in the moment, but I have shared a few stories after the fact, and maybe even more now that I do week notes.
I will keep my book club updated on my book progress, while no real life friends even know what I read, I will text someone about the games I’ve purchased, reviewed or completed, while not really bringing them up friends I meet up with1. I am here, writing to an English-speaking audience about whatever is going through my head, while virtually zero real life friends or family are aware that I even have a website.
I have conversations with people I’ve never seen, many times constantly, sometimes just an email every couple months, and I’ll chat about completely different topics that I would if we were having a coffee downtown.
I guess it all comes down to the fact that I don’t really chat with people I know in person, and I don’t really do phone calls, I just receive them. Texting is pretty comfortable, and I don’t even mind voice messages either.
However, I do agree that the social investment I get out of chatting can be very diminished in one on one conversations. Sometimes coming up to what to talk about is difficult, simply because we already chatted a lot and there’s not many surprises to be had.
I believe even the boring parts of life can be seen through a warmer light later on, and simple moments should be cherised just as much. But well, it is true that if things become repetitive they could lose their value faster.
Maybe I should just go back to sending emails to people.
This is day 93 of #100DaysToOffload.
I have shared most of my hobbies including videogames with my real life friends, and some of them know about Zelda or Chrono Trigger, but it is not as prevalent as it is here. ↩
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